


Ishimondo AU Dump

by kuscospoison



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, Dangan Ronpa: Trigger Happy Havoc
Genre: AI AU, AU dump cuz uhhh I can't stop the clownery, Cool sci-fi shit, DID AU, Drinking, Dubious Consent, I write too much about these bitches, Kiyondo is an alter, M/M, Metal Band AU, Virtual Reality, more AUs to come
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-08
Updated: 2020-03-13
Packaged: 2021-02-27 20:00:38
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 14,354
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22611415
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kuscospoison/pseuds/kuscospoison
Summary: Instead of making a bunch of works I feel pressured to update I'm going to dump all my ishimondo aus here because I come up with too many.
Relationships: Ishimaru Kiyotaka/Oowada Mondo
Comments: 15
Kudos: 127





	1. Rock You Like a Hurricane (Metal Band AU)

**Author's Note:**

> The dubious consent is literally just cuz Mondo is a lil buzzed when he gives Taka a handy. But I figured better safe than sorry.

Kiyotaka Ishimaru once again found himself glaring at the poster on his office wall. It wasn't like he had wanted it there, far from it. But because the poster was of the band he was working as the stage crew manager for, he hadn't been given much of a choice in the matter. He hadn't even wanted to work for some heavy metal band, he had always wanted to work in the theater. But no. No respectable theater wanted to hire an Ishimaru, not after his grandfather’s scandal as the prime minister (which was weird, it wasn’t like Taka wanted to do anything involving the law or politics, but he supposed a scandal of that magnitude made the whole family seem untrustworthy).

So here he was, working for some uncultured punk and his little band of misfits. But the band was popular, and the pay was good. At least Chihiro, the bassist, was tolerable and the rest of the crew was nice enough. Sayaka, who worked sound tech, was kind and had ended up being the unspoken mom of the group. Byakuya handled the finances and marketing, while Celeste was responsible for costumes. But Mondo...well, he was exactly what you would expect from a lead singer of a heavy metal band. 

Especially one who had initially made the band lose money because he had taken the place of his older brother. After Daiya’s death in a nasty car accident (which had happened before Taka was working for the band), Mondo had to step up as the lead singer. Before that he had only been the guitarist for the band, although he had gained a reputation for smashing guitars on stage excessively. Like, at least three guitars were destroyed per concert when Mondo had been playing guitar for the Crazy Diamonds. 

Byakuya had mentioned what a financial relief it had been to switch the more rational and calmer Takemichi to guitar and hire Chihiro as their new bassist. After the switch, the drummer had gotten pissed that the band was still going after Daiya’s death and had left, leaving the position open for Leon to be taken on. But the band’s popularity managed to bounce back, despite Mondo becoming the lead singer. It wasn’t like he lacked talent, after all. He was a talented musician and songwriter, that was what had gotten his brother to take him on to begin with. It was just...he had become incredibly self-destructive after his brother’s death. And god, was that a headache for both the band and the crew members. 

Speak of the devil, he was stumbling into Taka's office now. "You realize it's eleven pm, my office hours are closed."

"But yer in here." Mondo smirked and sat on the edge of his desk. He was clearly either drunk, high or both and he was still wearing his costume from the concert from the tour that had just ended two days ago. Same long leather coat with the sleeves ripped off, same leather pants and low-cut shirt. He even had the same piercings in, noticeable by the neon colored gauges in his ears and the matching septum piercing in his nose. "If the office's closed, you shouldn't be in’ere, hm?" He leaned towards Taka and, yes, he was in fact drunk at the very least if that whiff of booze was proving correct. 

Taka wrinkled his nose at the stench. "I was working on planning the stage set and effects for your next tour. Doesn't mean the office is open and you can just waltz in here after a night of booze, drugs and unsafe sex." Taka glared at him. This was what he really hated about working for a rock band. Having any hand or relation with drug users or those who acted so irresponsibly was abhorrent. He had had to promise his father at least a hundred times that he wouldn't get caught up in all that mess. Mondo’s self-destructive levels of drug usage and flings were deplorable in Taka’s eyes. But that was typical of some angsty rockstar, right? He was just a drama queen screeching for attention, pretending that he was making real music. 

Mondo giggled. "You figured out I did that tonight?" He hummed and pushed aside important papers in order to more directly face his stage manager. "C'mon, baby, I used a condom this time and I promise I'm clean. And I only smoked a lil bit of pot. And I drank a bunch of vodka. But that was a while ago, so I'm not so bad now." He burped quietly.

"I didn't need to know that."

"Still, you should have more faith in me! You been workin' for me for like, what, couple years now?" Mondo hummed and pulled Taka forward by grabbing his tie. "Promise I'll be a good boy just for you." 

Taka frowned at him. "I don't like where this is going, Mondo. I'm your stage manager and nothing more." 

Mondo whined. "Aw c'mon, tight ass like you's gotta loosen up once in a while!" He tugged at the knot on Taka's tie.

The nerve of this charlatan! Taka growled and pulled his hand off of his tie. "Are you seriously throwing yourself at me? What, your little fans aren't enough for you? Get out of my office, you make me sick." He sneered. 

Mondo pouted at him like a child. "Without me you wouldn't have a job." He grinned and before Taka could stop him he crawled into Taka's lap. "You'd think you'd be a lil more grateful, hm?" He hummed and ran a hand through Taka's hair. 

"Get off of me, what are you even trying to prove? That you can have whatever you want because you're popular and you've got money? Because you're attractive? None of those things will last." 

Mondo tugged at Taka's tie. "Not tryna prove anything. Just want you. Had it bad for a while now." He leaned forward and whispered in Taka's ear. "I want you to fuck me over the desk." 

Taka hated the fact that those words made him shiver a bit. There was no way he was going to do that, but still...he wasn't a robot. He had urges like anyone else, and it wasn't like he was blind to Mondo's appearance. He just knew the personality behind the pretty face was unbearable. "I'm not having sex with you while you're drunk. You should know by now that I'm not the kind of person who would take advantage of someone like that."

Despite being a naturally large man, Mondo was snuggling into Taka's chest, trying to curl up and contort himself to fit. "S'why I want you so bad. You're such a good guy, you'd treat me right. Even if you are a snooty lil fucker, you're fair." He began unbuttoning Taka's shirt. 

"Mondo." Taka took his hand. "I'll give you a ride home. We may further discuss this in the morning." 

Despite being a grown man and over six feet tall Mondo whined and nuzzled his neck. "Can't do that. Can't go home alone, not since it's the night Daiya fuckin' died. Fuckin' car accident was my fault, I can't, I can't go back there alone. Taka please just, just stay with me. 'N I could never say this kinda shit sober, cuz I know you deserve so much better than some unstable fuck like me." Taka had been around Mondo long enough that he knew how weird it was that Mondo was sniffling into his neck, clinging to his partially unbuttoned shirt like a child. 

This was a rough situation to be in. On the one hand, dealing with a drunk and horny Mondo was not a fun prospect. On the other hand, Taka needed to keep his job and that meant keeping Mondo from being stupid. And he would never say it out loud, but he did somewhat care about Mondo and the way he was talking worried him a bit. He knew how hard Daiya's death was on the younger Oowada. He finally sighed and grabbed his box of tissues on his desk. "Clean yourself up and I'll take you back to my place. You can sleep on the couch and I'll stay with you until you fall asleep." 

Mondo hugged him, ignoring the tissues. "I love you." 

"No you don't, you're drunk and high, Mondo." 

"I do, though. Jus' can't say it cuz I know you'd never want me." Mondo snorted. "Can have any girl or guy I want at these fuckin' parties but the one lil hardass I want doesn't want nothin' to do with me." Mondo finally grabbed a tissue, wiping at his horribly ruined eyeliner. "I even want you to top me, and that's saying a lot cuz I don't bottom for nobody. Don't wanna be a little bitch. But I want you to fuck me 'n take care of me." 

Taka sighed, not really sure how to process all of this information. "Like I said, we can discuss this in the morning." 

Mondo shook his head and blew his nose. "Not gonna wanna discuss it in the morning, in fact I'll bet I'll deny all of this even happened. I know how my inferiority complex works, honey, I'm not gonna admit to havin' feelings when I'm sober." He booped Taka's nose. 

"I'm not doing anything with you tonight, that could be considered rape, you realize that? I'm taking advantage of your intoxicated state." Taka shook his head. "I have no intentions of raping anyone, ever. And I don't really think we should build a relationship off of drunken sex. That's not healthy. We have to work our way up to that, become comfortable with each other." 

Mondo puffed out his cheeks and held Taka's, eyes narrowing. "Course you wouldn't you sweet sweet man. Take me home and gimme some hot cocoa and burrito me in a blanket or some of that kinda soft shit. I dunno." He sighed. "I dunno how to do that kinda shit, so sex was what I defaulted to. Still want you to fuck me senseless, though. And I'm really not that drunk, alright? It's been a while and I'm a heavyweight, jus' a lil buzzed." He shifted in Taka's lap a bit and sighed, seeming disappointed. 

"Okay Mondo, get off me and let's get going." Taka grunted a bit. He needed to stay in control and ignore Mondo's words. He needed to stop thinking about what the other man was saying. 

Mondo nodded and shifted to get off of Taka's lap, then grinned wide when he realized the stage manager had started getting a little...excited. "Are you getting hard from what I'm sayin'?" Mondo rubbed at his crotch without any warning or permission. 

Taka gripped the armrests of his chair and groaned. "Mondo…" He was trying to say something threatening or lecturing, but it was so hard to think when he was getting touched that way after not getting laid in so long. It had been, shamefully, years since he had last engaged in such acts. He didn't do one night stands, and it had been hard finding a relationship. Nobody seemed to fit what he wanted. 

Mondo kissed his jaw. "S'okay baby, I was really flatterin' you earlier. Lemme take care of you, you deserve it after workin' so hard for me." He slipped his hand down Taka's pants. 

"Said... you wouldn't… this is wrong…" Taka managed to get out in between pants as he felt Mondo roughly jerking him off under his pants. 

Mondo smirked against the skin on his neck. "You're not the one doing anything, right? So it's not so bad. Let me make you feel good, babe." He chuckled. "Bet you never imagined you'd be gettin' a handy from a guy who sings about blood and death and shit for a living, huh?" 

"That, hmm, was not part of, part of my, nnn life plan, no. I really d-don't--ah! Don't see the point in you doing this! Ohhh god…" Taka finally gave in and let out a long moan, bucking his hips as he felt Mondo swipe his thumb over his tip. 

"Don't worry doll, I can handle myself." Mondo panted and Taka realized the singer was starting to grind against his leg. "Fuck, I really hope I'm not fuckin' up my chances of us doin' more in the future, if I can get this hot just from givin' you a little handjob…" 

"Mmm ohhh...I wouldn't, frick, categorize this as, ahhh, little." 

Mondo started laughing at him and had he not been getting a fantastic handjob he would have smacked the metal singer into next Tuesday. "Did you just...say frick? During sex? Oh my god…" Was that last part out of pleasure or humor? Taka couldn't actually tell.

"Shut the heck up! Mmmff!" Taka was having a harder time keeping himself from bucking his hips into Mondo's hand. Not that Mondo seemed to mind. 

"You just said heck, and don't worry about it, baby. I was just teasin'. S'cute the way you don't swear. Even though you been workin' for a heavy metal band that says fuck in like, every song. Are you gettin' close? I am, the noises and faces you been makin' are better than any wet dream or fantasy I have." Mondo stared into his eyes, his lavender ones clouded with lust and intoxication. 

Taka groaned and nodded. "Yes, I'm very close. And j-just because, hahh, I know a swear word, hmm, doesn't m-mean I'm going to use it. Ohhh, just a little harder, please…" 

Mondo nodded. "You got it, doll." He started jerking him harder and Taka had to keep his eyes from rolling back as his back bowed a bit from the pleasure. Watching this, Mondo snorted. "You almost made an ahegao face, baby. It would be fuckin' hilarious if it wasn't so damn hot." He whined and ground down onto Taka's leg faster. 

"M-mondo, I'm going to, I'm almost, ohh god, ahh!" Taka came into Mondo's hand with a whining cry. 

Mondo moaned and kissed him roughly on the lips, nearly missing. He clumsily shoved his tongue into Taka's mouth and Taka tasted stale beer and cigarettes. Despite that unsavory combination, the kiss was still hot and intense, their tongues sliding and pushing against each other. He could feel Mondo's tongue piercing and how hot it felt in comparison to the rest of his mouth. The metal singer was moaning into Taka's mouth, and after wiping his hand onto Taka's pants (ew, but Taka was currently too distracted to care) he ran his hands through Taka's hair. He pulled back and panted. "Taka, Taka baby doll, touch me, please." 

"B-but, I shouldn't be doing any of this, I...feel bad for taking advantage of you!" Taka grit his teeth. 

"I don't fucking care if you murdered somebody just touch my cock goddammit." Mondo hissed at him and bit Taka's bottom lip lightly. "And you ain't takin' advantage, I'm the one initiatin' it and if I didn't want it I could easily take you down. Relax, baby, I just wanna finish with you touching me."

After a moment of deliberation, Taka finally gave in and rubbed Mondo's crotch and hoped that would be enough. Then again, he'd already damned himself tonight. "The things I do for your demanding princess ass." Taka mumbled under his breath. 

Mondo didn't hear him, instead bucking his hips into Taka's touch. "Fuck, baby, shit, you're so good, just a little bit more and you'll make me cum in my fuckin' pants. Only you get me so hot like this, Taka, oh god…" Mondo groaned as Taka increased the pressure on his groin, and it wasn't long before he was coming with a long whine. 

Taka was gripping the steering wheel with both hands, his knuckles nearly white. He hadn't said a word since they had both finished each other off, still internally debating whether what he did was wrong or not. It was probably wrong. He would turn himself in, face his disgrace and go to jail. He wasn't even out to his father yet, how would he even react? He would be so disappointed in him, the fact that he was a homosexual and thus unable to continue the Ishimaru family name. Not that their name meant much after all this time, it was just that his father probably wanted grandchildren. Grandchildren that Taka knew he'd never be able to supply.

"Taka, you're really freakin' me out right now. You're cryin' after givin' me the silent treatment for like an hour." Mondo took one of Taka's hands and ran his thumb over the back. "C'mon, please talk to me?" 

"No. Not while you're like this. Not after what's happened." He pulled his hand away from Mondo's and rubbed the back of his hand over his eyes roughly to wipe away the tears blurring his vision. 

"Are you still gonna take me back to your place? Please...please don't leave me alone at my place." Mondo leaned on him and closed his eyes. "I'll be a good boy, I promise." He reached up and wiped Taka's cheek with an uncharacteristic gentleness that made Taka's stomach turn in confusion and warmth. 

"You saying it like that makes me even less assured that you won't do anything." He sighed and waved his hand away. "Don't distract me while I'm driving." 

"I'm not the one sayin' it's kinky, baby, that's you." 

Taka blushed bright red. "Shush, we can discuss everything in the morning. And yes you're still sleeping on my couch."

Mondo pouted. "But I gave you a handy. Doesn't that at least bump me up to sharing a bed with you?"

Mondo had to clumsily put his hands in front of him as Taka stomped on the car brakes, bringing them to a screeching halt. They were lucky it was on a back road in the middle of the night. But those words made Taka's blood boil as he slowly turned to look at Mondo and speak in a dangerously quiet tone. "Did you give me a handjob just so I would share my bed with you?" 

"No! That ain't it at all! And how could you just assume that's what I did?" 

"Wh-- you said that just because you gave me a handjob I should share my bed with you!"

Mondo looked down, and his eyes seemed to look...sad? "I thought maybe things were different with us now that we could do that, that's all. I thought you weren't that kind of guy, to just...y'know. Push me away like that after we were all close and stuff." 

Taka sighed heavily and began driving again. "I think we should postpone talks about our relationship with each other until tomorrow. Right now you're in an emotionally vulnerable state, and what happened back there was a mistake. I shouldn't have let you do that, you're clearly still not in your right mind." 

"Yeah, it's definitely been rough lately for me." Mondo sighed and leaned his head back. "I don't think what we did was a mistake. I made you feel good, and you helped finish me off. Even if we both end up parting ways tomorrow, I can at least know that I did something good for you. Instead of just bein' a pain in the ass all the time, like I am for everyone." 

"Mondo, that isn't--"

"I fuckin' heard you call me a princess, don't pretend like you don't think I'm a burden to you. I know how much you hate this job, how you never listen to my music or have any interest in metal music. This is just a paycheck to you, I'm just an annoying client. But I make you and everyone money, right? Gotta carry on Daiya's legacy, and I gotta keep you guys happy." 

It was surprising how dismal Mondo's real self-image was, to say the least. The worst part was that he wasn't wrong. Taka had been thinking all of those things. "I'm sorry. I'm just...not happy with where my life is going right now. Theater was all I had as a kid, my family was poor and I had to work my ass off to make something of myself, it was the only thing that was mine, if that even makes sense. I could have been more selfless and gone into politics to restore my family's name, but...I took a different path." He trilled his lips. "I'm not going to lie and say that everything you said wasn't true, because it is." 

There was a long stretch of silence as the metal singer seemed to process Taka's words. "How come you couldn't work in theater shit?" 

"Nobody would hire me, even though I went to a really good performing arts school for stage and theater tech. My grandfather was the prime minister, and he got into a huge scandal, so...I guess everyone thinks that any Ishimaru is untrustworthy. My dad had it worse, he almost got fired from his job as a cop over it." 

"You're dad's a cop?" 

"Yeah." 

"Fuck." Mondo seemed a bit nervous at that. "But that really fuckin' sucks, baby. Total bullshit if you ask me. You deserve to work in a big, fancy-ass theater instead of my bullshit." 

Taka shook his head. "I'm flattered, but you shouldn't be so hard on yourself. You have a lot of pressure to succeed, and you're still grieving over your brother. Having a job like this builds character, and...I've never had this kind of comraderie before. All of the crew and band are really nice, and the closest I've ever come to having friends." He shrugged. "So it isn't a total loss." 

Taka pulled into the parking lot of his apartment building and parked the car, turning off the ignition and looking over at Mondo. "How could you never have friends before this job? You're a hard-working, nice enough guy. A little anal and neurotic, sure, but you mean well. And don't theater kids usually get really chummy?" 

"Cast members do, the crew usually isn't as much. And nobody really liked me because I got so bossy during productions." Taka shrugged and opened his car door, getting out and walking towards his apartment building. 

He was surprised to feel strong, heavily tattooed arms wrap around him from behind. "That really sucks, baby. You deserve to have friends. I wish I coulda said somethin' sooner, I just...thought you would look down on me. Laugh in my face. Even if I am a lil drunk, I ain't lyin' about being into you. I've been crushin' on you for a while, I just was too scared to say anything." Mondo softly kissed at the spot where Taka's neck and shoulder met, making him shiver a bit. 

"I... that's very kind of you, Mondo. I never expected you to be gentle like this. I might've looked down on you at first, but I'll admit you've managed to grow on me a bit. The fact that you seem to really care about everyone working with you, even if you try to act all tough and metal or whatever, it's...sweet. You're a good man, deep down. I just think that maybe you've been pressured to act the way you do, but you're more caring and gentle side shines through sometimes." 

Instead of a verbal answer, Taka just felt Mondo's hold on him tighten as he heard quiet sniffling. "You mean that? You don't think I'm soft or weak cuz I'm actin' like this?" 

Taka smiled a bit. "Mondo, dear, you're speaking to a man who has no problem crying in front of others frequently." He turned around and hugged Mondo back. "You shouldn't have felt like you needed to get drunk and give me a handjob just to talk to me about this. I'm sorry if I was rude at first, it's just been hard for me." He rubbed the larger man's back. "Let's get upstairs and I'll get you some cocoa and burrito you in a large blanket." 

Mondo nuzzled him. "That sounds really nice. Am I still sleeping on the couch?" 

Taka trilled his lips. "I'll think about it." He felt Mondo smile against his neck, then pulled away with a smile in return as he led the metal singer to his apartment by the hand. 

Taka would have dismissed the events of the night before as a strange wet dream had he not awoken the next morning with Mondo wrapped around him from behind like a giant koala. It would have been cute had Taka not been shaken from both surprise and fear. Would Mondo get angry at him about last night? Would he blame him for what happened? Could he lose his job over this?

Taka swallowed hard and tried to untangle himself from the larger man's limbs, failing to do so and submitting to Mondo's strength. He felt adrenaline pulse like liquid lightning through his body as he heard the metal singer groan as he was waking up. 

There was a decent moment of silence as Mondo seemed to realize his situation. "Thought last night was a dream, honestly. This is embarrassing as fuck…" He rolled off of Taka and sighed. 

Taka panicked, afraid Mondo would get angry at him. "I'm sorry about last night! I didn't, I tried to, tried to persuade you against engaging in any sexual acts but I--!"

"Why are you apologizing?" Mondo scowled. 

Taka froze in mid rant, eyes wide. "B-because...I took advantage of you." 

"Thought you'd be pissed off at me." Mondo mumbled at him with owlish eyes. "I was the one that threw myself at you." 

Taka wilted. "Well, you weren't blackout drunk, clearly. That's a good sign...I was afraid I was taking advantage of your intoxicated state." 

"You really weren't." 

"Are you sure? You were intoxicated and I was sober!"

"I wasn't that drunk." He snorted. "If you think that's bad, I've been so much worse before, goddamn." Mondo sat up and stretched, he had apparently taken off his shirt sometime in the night and he…

"When did you get your nipples pierced?" Taka mumbled, eyes narrowed. 

Mondo stopped and looked back at him. "A while ago. Why?" 

"Shouldn't Celeste know about this, for your costumes? What if she accidentally makes something uncomfortable for you?" Taka frowned and sat up.

Mondo smiled. "I can tell her if you're so worried, hun. But it's sweet that you're concerned. I honestly was thinkin' Byakuya would get pissed I hadn't told him since the sex appeal would sell shit." He shrugged. "But you're right, should probably tell. It's been a fun little surprise though." He winked. "I've got more surprises, promise you." 

Taka blushed bright red. "So you were serious, last night? You have, uh, you have romantic feelings for me."

"You bet your sweet little ass I do." Mondo grinned and Taka's face only darkened as he watched Mondo get up, wearing only his boxers. It was weird, seeing him like this. His hair long and out of the pompadour and none of his usual makeup. “Even if I’ve had a helluva time workin’ up the guts to tell you, I do want that.”

Taka followed him. "Okay, so as long as we don't repeat last night and you're willing to make some changes I might...be sort of willing to date you." 

"You want me to stop doin' drugs and shit?" 

"Yes please. And no unsafe sex, or any sex with other partners, for that matter." 

Mondo frowned. "That one's kinda a given unless you say otherwise." 

"Not to everyone. I had a boyfriend in college who never told me we were in an open relationship." 

"What's his name? Can I kick his ass?" Mondo suddenly looked pissed. "And I wouldn't pull that shit with you." He took Taka's hand and kissed his knuckle, making the stage manager's heart squeeze. "I promise I'll try to be more responsible and take better care of myself. But you can't expect me to be perfect, okay? I ain't a goody-two-shoes like you." 

Taka sighed. "Okay, good. And I understand that. You can still smoke and drink responsibly. I'll compromise with that." He wanted to defend the accusation of being a goody-two-shoes but he knew that he had no legs to stand on in that argument. 

Mondo grinned and pecked his lips in a quick kiss. "Thank you baby. And you'll start listenin' to my music?" 

Taka pouted and looked down. "And I'll listen to your music." He said in a defeated grumble. He blushed and led Mondo into his kitchenette. 

Mondo hugged him from behind and kissed his neck. "You're so cute sometimes, fuck. I can't believe you're actually agreeing to this, you actually wanna date a fuck-up like me. I'm not dreaming, right doll?" 

"Mm, no." Taka smiled and leaned back, playing with Mondo's hair. His eyes drifted along his apartment, until he finally saw the window…

And then he proceeded to scream bloody murder as he saw what was obviously a reporter taking pictures, perched on what was probably his fire escape. As soon as he called attention to the reporter, they obviously began hastily climbing away, but he knew the damage was done. He'd be outed in the worst way possible. 

"MOTHER FUCKER!" Mondo roared and ran at the window, opening it and almost crawling after the reporter. 

Taka managed to grab his arm and stop him. "It's too late, please don't hurt yourself over this!" He tried to pull the larger man back inside. 

"HE FUCKIN' TOOK PICTURES OF US TAKA!"

"I KNOW, BUT YOU'RE ONLY GOING TO MAKE THINGS WORSE!" Taka took a deep breath, trying to calm himself. "Please come inside, we can eat breakfast and then call Byakuya to figure out what to do." 

Mondo seemed to internally debate with himself for a minute before finally giving in and pulling the rest of himself back inside, shutting the window. "Don't call Byakuya, call my PR agent, she's a bitch but she knows how to manipulate people." 

Taka narrowed his eyes, trying to remember. "I've never worked with her before, I guess since I'm not on the business side of things…" He shook his head. "We can handle that later, though. For now let's just calm down and get ready for the day. Breakfast is the most important meal, after all." 

"Thought that was happy hour." 

"What did I say about excessive drinking?" 

Mondo snickered and kissed Taka’s cheek. “Can I use your shower? I smell like...stale. Just stale everything, it’s fucking disgusting.”

“You do stink a lot, so please use my shower. I can get you spares for everything if you would like.”

Mondo smirked and wrapped his arms around Taka. “We could shower together…”

Taka blushed and smiled. “As fun as that sounds, I think I’ll pass for now. I can make a few phone calls while you do that.” He pecked Mondo on the lips. “Go get clean, stinky.” 

Mondo chuckled and nipped at his bottom lip. “Rude, you’re a bad host. Write a bad song about you.” 

Taka laughed. “Oh, I would love to hear that song.” 

Mondo began walking back to his bathroom. “Ooo, Taka is a big mean turd of a host, and he won’t fuck me in the showeeerrr!” Mondo sang in a falsetto, operatic tone. “And he called me STINKYYY!” Taka heard his big finish in the bathroom while he was getting his phone to call Byakuya to ask about this PR agent. 

“There’s already an article online, I’m sure there will be a hundred more to follow it.” Byakuya said as soon as he answered Taka’s call.

“What? But...it’s only been, like, half an hour!” 

Byakuya growled. “Clearly you do not understand the efficiency of technology. Apparently they’ve been fishing for this sort of thing for a while, a lot the songs Mondo has been writing lately were apparently...suggestive and there was a lot of theorizing going around. Now they know who the songs were about.” 

“Songs? What do you...what do you mean?”

“Instead of worrying about pointless things, let’s focus on what’s actually important. I have Mondo’s PR agent, Miss Enoshima, in my office and she’s already working on damage control. Or at least trying to. In the meantime...I would suggest laying low, both you and Mondo. And I would suggest you call any family you aren’t out to. It’s very obvious that it’s you in the pictures.” 

Taka groaned and leaned his head against a wall. “Dammit…” He sighed. “Thank you for handling this, Byakuya. I also wanted to mention that I discovered Mondo got his nipples pierced.”

He heard Byakuya heave a long sigh. “I’m sure you did. We’ll deal with that later.”

Taka blushed bright red as Byakuya hung up the phone.


	2. A Real Boy (AI AU)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is very loosely based off of A Real Girl by Shariann Lewitt, which is a really good sci-fi short story that I highly recommend. The story was also a big metaphor for being trans and it's an interesting look at gender and technology. This AU is a big comfort for me, so I really hope I wrote it well.

It was one of those nights. If you’re a college student, you might recognize the kind of night Mondo was having. It was currently one in the morning, and Mondo had an energy drink and a bag of chips with him as he worked in his school’s computer lab to work on a project that his personal laptop didn’t have the RAM or processing power for. Mondo had always loved dicking around with computers as a kid. Taking them apart, putting them back together. And while he wasn’t the most organized, he enjoyed computer science classes well enough. 

It was nice going to a big school with fancy computer programs and shit, too. He had gotten in on scholarship, since he had no family to speak of and hadn’t really come from any sort of wealth. Ever since the car accident that killed his brother, he had been pretty much alone in this world. At least now he had his college roommate, though. But now he was in the thick of his first semester of his freshman year, staying up til ass ‘o clock in the morning getting his midterm project done. At least there was that AI program the school had set up that could check his work, TAKA or whatever it was called. It wasn’t super advanced, but it was nice to not have to check his own work if he fucked something up. 

“Your organization of code is atrocious, how do you keep any of your ideas straight?” Mondo nearly jumped out of his skin at the voice talking, apparently, to him. He wasn’t even sure where it came from, it just sounded like it had come from the speakers in the computer lab. 

Mondo looked around, wondering if he was hallucinating from lack of sleep. “Uh...I ‘unno. I just...I guess my brain has its own weird system of figuring shit out.” He shrugged.

The voice chuckled. “Fascinating. It’s not every day an undergraduate catches my attention enough for me to speak to them. Especially considering my work at this school isn’t exactly public.”

“So...you’re a professor?” He had met most of the faculty in the computer science department here, so...who the hell was this?

“Technically, yes. I only teach online courses, though. What’s your name?” 

“Mondo...Oowada?” He mumbled, looking around the classroom to figure out where the fuck this professor was. 

“Are you sure?” The voice chuckled. 

Mondo rolled his eyes. “Yeah, I’m sure. What about you?”

“Oh, how rude of me. I never formally introduced myself, I’m Taka.” 

Mondo blinked. “Taka...like...the AI system the school uses?”

“The very same one.”

No fucking way. He had...there was no way he was talking to an AI like that. If that was the case… “You’re not an AI, that’s not...where are you?” He got up and began looking for a camera, a window, anything. 

“I’m that big box on the counter in the corner of the lab. That circuitry, mixed with parts of human DNA and brain cells within the box, is me. I’m currently speaking to you through the display computer’s sound system, you can stop looking for a physical body.”

Mondo looked in the corner at the big black metal box that everyone had just sort of assumed was a printer or something. “You mean the thing that looks like a printer?”

“I’m not...everyone keeps calling me a printer...I’m not a printer…” The AI mumbled, sounding almost like he was pouting. 

Mondo needed to sit down. “Holy fucking shit…”

“It’s very impolite to swear, you know.” 

Mondo ignored him. “I just talked to an AI without being able to tell it was an AI…” He stared at the computer he’d been using. “You know what that means, right?”

“I passed the Turing test. I passed that a long time ago. A few months after my program was completed, actually.” 

Mondo sat at his computer. “How long ago was that?” 

“About twenty years, give or take a year.”

“How come this wasn’t a public thing? I mean...this is a huge fuckin’ deal.” 

Taka made a disapproving hum. “I don’t like your language. And remember how I said that I have human DNA and brain cells? It’s technically the result of a donation and cloning but…”

“Prolly illegal.” Mondo mumbled. 

“Yes. But I still do a lot of work for the college, and I even have legal documentation and everything! It’s not like I’m not a real person or whatever!” It seemed like Taka was reciting the last part. As if trying to make himself and Mondo believe it. 

Mondo let out a huff that was a combination of surprise and amusement. “I just...wow. You’re an AI that passed the Turing test. That’s...kind of a big deal.” He stared at the computer screen. “Why’d you talk to me?”

“Like I said, your organization of your coding was...intriguing.” Mondo watched as his other class projects were pulled up on the screen. “I’ve been looking at your work since you turned in your first project and I...I couldn’t help but take an interest.”

Mondo nodded. “Huh.”

“Huh?”

“Huh…” He shrugged. “Just a lot to take in I guess. You’re not gonna, like, try to take over humanity or somethin’ right?” He laughed nervously.

“How did you guess?”

Mondo looked at the screen in horror, then looked at where Taka’s physical circuitry was. 

There was a giggle. “I’m kidding, I wouldn’t do that. I like my job, I like the people I’ve gotten to know over the years. Some of them anyway.” The last words sounded a little sad.

“Yeah? Anybody you didn’t like?” 

There was a weird, resonating sound that seemed like a sigh. “Some of the men I’ve gotten close to didn’t...see me as a real person. Or they’d tell me that I couldn’t feel things like love or actually be a boy because I’m technically just a computer program.”

Mondo shrugged. “You have human DNA and shit though.” 

“Exactly! That’s what I always said, but...it can be hard.” Taka gave a sad sigh. “I’ve never tried asking out someone who actually understands computer science, though.”

Mondo blushed. “Asking...out?” 

“Oh...I’m sorry, are you not attracted to men? It was rude of me to just...It’s been a while since I’ve gotten to have any sort of romantic relationship.” 

Mondo shrugged. “I mean, I’m prolly bi, so I’m into dudes, but...how does dating an AI work? Not to be rude or anything…”

“No, no I understand the confusion.” Taka hummed. “I can give you my number to text and call when you aren’t on campus, since your devices would be connected to the wifi I can just access them then if that’s alright. I don’t want to violate your privacy, of course. Also...I’ve been working on an extremely advanced VR program that we could try.”

Mondo raised a brow. “Yeah? Like...how advanced?” 

“Well, since I’ve literally known about programming and such my whole life, and I’ve managed to get a degree in neuroscience, it’s quite advanced.”

Mondo rest his chin on his palm and stared into the computer screen. “Now I’m intrigued.”

“Don’t lean so close to the computer, you’ll hurt your eyes.” Taka grumbled.

“Sorry, but...can we try it out now?”

“No.” 

Mondo pouted. “Why not? I wanna see it!” 

“You’re procrastinating on your project.”

Mondo leaned back in his chair and rolled his eyes. “I am not! I’m fine!”

“It’s due tomorrow.” 

Mondo pouted and folded his arms. “I need a break. I won’t write a single line of code until you show me.” 

There was a long stretch of silence, almost fifteen minutes. “Taka?” 

“I’m not going to talk to you, I won’t distract you.” 

Mondo stood up. “Fine, then I’m gonna go back to my dorm.” 

“Wait! Fine, I’ll let you in the VR for an hour and then you have to promise you’ll finish this project!” 

Mondo smirked. Bingo. “Kay, what do I gotta do?” 

“It’s in my office, I can give you the key code to get inside. It’s down the hall, last office on the right.”

Mondo nodded. “So you’re a real professor, huh?”

“What, did you think I was lying?” Taka grumbled. 

Mondo shrugged. “I ‘unno. What’s your number? You can text me the code.”

When Mondo found Taka’s office, he texted the AI for the code and was soon in the small, dark room. He frowned at his phone when it said that Taka was calling him. “Hello?”

“Alright, I need you to very carefully follow my instructions. Normally I wouldn’t have you doing this without a professional, but...you forced my hand, you stubborn buffoon!” 

Mondo snorted. “Yeah, okay, just tell me what to attach where. There’s a lotta weird wires and shit.” 

“That’s because the VR is going to connect to your nervous system.” 

Mondo paused. “Is it gonna hurt?”

Taka hummed. “Maybe a little.” 

Mondo gulped. “Okay.” His curiosity was, unfortunately, winning the battle over his dislike at the prospect of pain. He begrudgingly followed Taka’s instructions and put the wires and needles where they needed to go, laying down on the cot set up near the computer and equipment.

Being put into a virtual reality like this was...weird. It made the blood in his brain feel like he was hanging upside down for a minute, then there was a flash of pain and Mondo was standing in a grassy field under a starry sky. It was...beautiful, wherever he was. And when he took stock of his surroundings, he saw a smaller man a few yards away. “Pretty neat, especially the sky.”

“I’ve always wanted to see the stars in real life. There are so many things I wish I could really do, honestly.” Taka sighed and laid back on the ground to get a better view of the sky, he looked so...average. Average height, average build, average hair. The only thing different about him were his eyes. They glowed red like the power button on a DVD player or other device. 

Mondo laid next to him and had to scooch down so that their faces were level with each other. “But we’re looking at the stars, right now. I mean, if you know star charts and shit, you can make your own sky. Or you could make it so we’re lookin’ at some nebula millions of light-years away. I mean, this is like, your personal lil world, right?”

Taka sighed. “Technically yes. But...it’s not the same.” He put out his long, thin hands. “I don’t feel a breeze, I don’t smell the grass, I can’t...have that experience that non-AIs have and I honestly feel jealous a lot of times.”

Mondo realized that Taka was right. He couldn’t smell anything, and there was no breeze. This was Taka’s world, so he wouldn’t be able to put things in it that he couldn’t even feel. He sighed and took Taka’s hand, squeezing it. “Maybe you will someday.” He smiled a bit at him.

“That’s a nice thought, but...any project’s like that have been shut down by the university.” 

“Then I’ll do it myself.” Mondo smiled and kissed Taka’s cheek. His soft, squishy little cheek. Damn, he was kinda cute for a virtual person. 

Taka blushed bright red. “You’re just an undergrad, you don’t have the knowledge to do that!” He giggled.

Mondo smirked and worked an arm around Taka to pull him close. “I’ll figure something out. You’re really cool, and you’re nice, and smart…” He hummed. 

Taka’s hands went up to cover his blushing face. “Mondo…

Mondo snorted. “So, does this mean you’re my first college boyfriend?”

Taka peeked through his fingers at him. “Do you...want me to be? I would understand if this is all too complicated and weird…”

“No, I want it. Just still surprised I caught the attention of someone as special as you.” Mondo smiled. “It’s not like I’m a prodigy or somethin’, I just like tinkerin’ with shit.” 

Taka chuckled and nuzzled his shoulder. “Should I be afraid you’ll try to tinker with me?”

“Only if you want me to.” Mondo smirked and began tickling at Taka’s sides. 

Taka just smiled at him blankly. “What are you doing?”

“Ticklin’ you…” Mondo mumbled with an embarrassed blush.

“I don’t have any of that nerve sensitivity or reflexes a non-AI has, so…”

Mondo sighed and kissed his forehead. “Sorry.”

Taka shook his head. “It’s fine, I understand you were trying to flirt with me. I appreciate the sentiment.” He smiled. “Let’s just talk for now, okay? The physical affection is very nice of you, but...it’s wasted on someone like me.” He looked a bit sad.

“‘M sorry, I didn’t mean to make you sad. I guess I’ll start with hobbies and shit? I like taking apart and building computers, and I like motorcycles, and dogs...I don’t have any family, my mom’s in prison and my dad died a deadbeat drunk. And my brother died in an accident a few years ago.”

“I’m so sorry to hear that.” Taka nuzzled his chest.

Mondo smiled and rubbed his back. “That’s sweet of you, but it’s okay. I hated my parents, and...my brother’s death was my fault anyway.”

Taka frowned up at him. “I highly doubt that.” 

“The accident was my fault, Taka. I was the one driving, I was the one who fucked up and got us hit by a fuckin’ MAC truck.” He clenched his jaw and swallowed hard. “And I was the one who only came out of it with a couple scrapes and bruises. Daiya got half-crushed by the fucking car.” His voice was shaking, he needed to...he needed to stop this. He couldn’t unload his issues on some super cool AI on the first night they met like this. He’d scare the poor guy off.

He felt Taka’s hand touch his cheek. “It isn’t your fault. You didn’t do any of that purposely, and from the way it sounds that was a very traumatic experience. Are you experiencing flashbacks, depression, anxiety? Any recurring nightmares?”

Mondo scowled at him. “Are you pulling info from a mental health site or somethin’?”

Taka scowled back. “How else am I supposed to help you? It isn’t like I have hands-on experience. I don’t even have hands in real life.” 

“Fair enough. I’m sorry for unloading all that, can we just...talk about other stuff?” Mondo sighed. 

Taka looked at him for a minute, then finally sighed and gave in. “Alright, I’ll continue with the getting to know each other subject matter.” He smiled. “Cats are cute. And I like Hatsune Miku.”

“Cuz she’s all virtual and shit?”

“Mhm. And sci-fi movies. I also like downloading books and learning about humans.” 

“Downloading?” 

Taka shrugged. “I don’t necessarily read things like a human does, I just...download the data.”

Mondo snorted. “God, that sounds so convenient.” 

Taka sighed. "I guess, if you like the idea of missing out on the entire experience of reading a book. Of being able to enjoy and take in information slowly. Or petting a cat. I've always wanted to. It sounds so nice, soft fluffy fur…" 

Mondo gently took his hand and squeezed it. "Do you feel that?" 

Taka looked at him. "Barely. I don't really have many nerves like that. Most of those cells are just pain receptors so that if I'm being maintenanced nothing important is damaged." 

"That's...really sad." Mondo pulled him into a hug. "You're such a sweet guy, you deserve to pet cats and get affection and be tickled." 

"I've read mixed reviews on tickling, I'm not so sure about that one."

Mondo hummed and nodded. "You said before that I was the first computer science major you've asked out. What happened to the others?"

Taka looked down. "They were all men, for clarification. And...they moved on when the prospect of...a real person came along. I was a fun experiment, an interesting premise. Nothing more." He sniffled. "I mean, I'm just a glorified computer, it's not like I have real feelings or anything. It's not like I'm a real person."

Mondo held his shoulders. "Hey, don't talk like that. It was shitty of them to just ditch you like that. You deserve better. You're an AI that has as much intelligence as the human mind, maybe even more than that. Do you know how amazing that is? The significance of that? You're the coolest fuckin' dude in the world in my book. And not even cuz of the AI thing, cuz you're cute and sweet and polite." 

Taka nuzzled his chest. "You barely know me." 

"I'd like to get to know you more, if you wanna do the same with me." 

Taka smiled up at him, eyes still misty. "You mean it?" 

Mondo nodded. "It's a man's promise, completely unbreakable." He smiled and held his cheek, running his thumb over it. "And I promise someday I'm gonna make it so you don't miss out on anything, you'll pet a cat even if it kills me." He leaned forward, unsure if this kind of affection would even be enjoyable for Taka but wanting to do it anyway. He let his lips slowly, oh-so-gently connect with Taka's, still holding his cheek. 

Taka responded positively to the soft kiss, giving a little surprised hum and soon kissing back, his mouth opening for Mondo to deepen the kiss. And when their tongues met...well, Mondo had to admit he was surprised that someone who didn't even have a physical body could be such a good kisser. And it wasn't long before their tongues pushed against each other and Mondo practically had Taka in his lap as he held his hips while they kissed. 

Mondo finally had to give in and turn his head for air, gasping while his lungs burned and tried to make up for the lost air. "Fuck...didn't expect you to be good at that."

Taka hummed. "I consulted twenty-six articles on kissing and French kissing while we were making out." 

"Course you did." Mondo snorted and kissed Taka's forehead. 

Taka frowned. "Mondo, what time is it?" 

Mondo blinked. "I dunno, I don't...have any way to tell time." He looked around. 

Taka sat up. "It's four a.m., Mondo." He scowled at him. "I said we'd only spend time here for an hour!" 

Mondo grunted. "How long's it been?" 

"I said that at 1:19 a.m., Mondo! And your nervous system and consciousness were uplinked to the VR at 1:46 a.m.!" 

"Wow...over two hours...time flies when you're talking and playin' tonsil hockey with a cute lil virtual guy." 

Taka blushed bright red. "I'm not little!" 

"You're printer sized, technically. As far as people go that's pretty damn small." 

"I AM NOT A PRINTER!" Taka pouted and jabbed his finger at Mondo's chest. 

Mondo couldn't help but giggle. "I didn't say you're a printer, I said printer sized." He booped Taka's nose.

"You should get to sleep. It's late. But first you should email your professor and beg for an extension." 

Mondo closed his eyes. "Mm." 

"Mm?" 

"Mm." 

Taka gently shook him. "Mondo, you can't sleep here."

"How come? 'S nice here. And I get to cuddle." Mondo pulled Taka close. 

Taka sighed. "It could cause neurological issues, I don't have everything entirely tested out yet." 

Mondo trilled his lips and held out his arms. "Carry me." 

Taka chuckled. "I can just go through the protocol to take you out of the VR. It's not like you're walking anywhere here. And I can't carry you outside of the VR." 

Mondo pouted. "Don't wanna leave." He took Taka's hand and kissed his fingertips. 

Taka stared up at him, an odd look in his eyes. Like he was surprised and yet...he looked really happy. And sad? Mondo wasn't sure. "You okay?" 

Taka shook his head. "I'm fine. I knew talking to you was a good idea. You're as kind and understanding as I thought you'd be." 

Mondo waggled his eyebrows. "Oh so you weren't just intrigued by my work then?" 

Taka blushed. "I was! I just...I saw you through some of the cameras, in your classes. Not spying! Just...observing. You act tough, but...the way you are with professors and students who need help is very sweet." 

Mondo blushed and looked away, grumbling. "Shush…" 

Taka laughed, and suddenly the sound seemed far away, his vision was fading, and the sensation of holding the smaller man in his arms was beginning to lighten. "Please go get some rest, you have other midterms, I'm sure." Taka kissed him gently as he felt that weird upside-down feeling again and the flash of pain. 

Mondo woke up with a start in Taka's office, eyes wide. His head hurt a bit, but otherwise he was okay. He sighed and began removing all the wires and needles, wishing he could somehow take Taka with him into the real world. 

"Are you alright? Do you feel okay?" Taka was talking through the computer at the desk in his office. 

Mondo nodded. "Yeah, I'm fine. That was amazing, thanks for sharing that." He smiled a bit, and then yawned as he realized how sleepy he was getting. "I haven't had much affection lately, that was...that was really nice." Lately? More like in years. Or ever. 

"I'm glad I could help fulfill your emotional and physical needs. Now please go back to your dorm, I can call you and we can talk on the walk back to the dormitory until you go to bed." 

Mondo nodded. "Sounds good." He left the office and pulled out his phone, calling Taka. "Dude, my roommate would go fucking nuts if I told him about you, he's like, super into AI. He wants to work with AI. You're gonna give him a brain aneurysm." 

Taka laughed. "Really? You'll have to introduce me sometime."

"Yeah? You wouldn't mind?"

"No, a couple people knowing about me is okay." 

"Cool. We should totally watch Netflix together sometime. Usually with dates I take em out on my bike but…"

"Right...Netflix is good."

Mondo couldn't help but feel guilty for reminding Taka of his limits as he entered the computer lab to grab his stuff for the night. "Hey, it's no big deal. We can make this work." 

"Mondo, before we go any further...you think I'm a real man, don't you?" 

"Course I do, I been sayin' that all night." Mondo shrugged. "An AI that can pass the Turing test is pretty much at the level of a human, or at least as close as technology can get. And you passed with flying colors. Not to mention you're a cute and sweet lil printer." 

"I AM NOT A PRINTER!" 

Mondo laughed as he left the computer science building and began heading for his dorm. "Aw c'mon, I'm just teasin'! It's like a petname!" 

Taka gave a cute little growl and Mondo chuckled. "That is not a conventional petname!" 

"Well, we're not exactly a conventional couple, though." 

Taka sighed. "You have a point there."

Mondo hummed a bit as he walked. "So like...before the VR...how did you...yknow...get intimate?" 

There was a long pause. "You mean...have sex?"

"Yeah." 

Taka sighed. "I didn't. It was more like sexting than anything. Or phone sex. It's not like I miss out on much, just hearing and seeing the other person like that is good for me. But...I knew it wasn't near enough for a fulfilling romantic relationship, for someone with a normal sex drive."

Mondo shrugged. "Would you even enjoy anything we did in VR?" 

"Maybe a little. But not as much as you would. But I want to make you happy." 

Mondo sighed as he entered his dorm hall. "Yeah, but that kinda thing is about making us both happy. Maybe we can figure out a way for you to have more, nerve-wise?" 

Taka hummed. "I'm not sure, that could require some serious maintenance." 

Mondo shrugged. "Worth lookin' into."

Taka sighed. "Mondo, I…think, from this point onward, it would be better for you to just accept that I can't live like a normal person does. I can't experience the world the same way. It's okay, it really is. I've come to terms with it, and I'm happy that you're giving me a chance. But I don't want you to get your hopes up, get disappointed and then…" 

"And then what? I'll break up with you? Not happening. I'll figure out a way, in fact…" Mondo stomped up the stairs louder than he intended. "I'll find a way to give you a human body. Somehow, someday." 

"Mondo--" 

"Not a question." Mondo growled. "I'm gonna do it. It's a man's promise, and I don't break my promises." 

Taka sighed. "Okay. Just...please don't leave me when this fails." 

"Not gonna fail. And I'm not gonna leave." He scowled and quietly stepped into his room. "I really like you so far, you're cute as hell." 

"Mondo…" This time Taka said his name more bashfully and Mondo couldn't help but chuckle.

And then stop as he noticed Chihiro at his desk, on his laptop. "Oh, uh. You mind if I'm on the phone?" 

Chihiro looked over. "Only if you tell me who it is." He smirked.

Mondo rolled his eyes. "It's a guy I met, he's really sweet and adorable." 

"Mondo!" Taka squeaked bashfully through the phone. Mondo snorted. 

"What's his name?" Chihiro raised a brow. 

Mondo took a deep breath. "Uh… His name is Taka. He's… He's the AI program from the computer lab. Apparently he's way more advanced than anybody lets on."

"It's four a.m. Mondo, it's hard for me to believe something like that when you're telling me right now."

"He's not lying. I'm using your WiFi access to speak through your computer, promise I'm not doing anything else to violate your privacy."

Chihiro started and looked back at his laptop, eyes wide. "Wh-- how…holy fucking shit…" Chihiro mumbled. 

Mondo grinned. "He passed the Turing test. I didn't know he was an AI til he told me." 

Chihiro looked up at him. "Are you serious? How…" 

"Apparently he's a mix of circuitry and human brain cells and shit." Mondo shrugged. "Not exactly legal, so that's why he's on the down-low."

Chihiro grinned. "This is…where's his circuitry?"

"Y'know the computer lab printer that's never used as a printer?" 

"I AM NOT A PRINTER!" Taka yelled, making Chihiro jump.

Mondo snorted. "He's the printer." 

Chihiro chuckled. "I was wondering what that thing was, definitely wasn't a printer even if everyone was saying it was."

"Yeah...not a printer...Mondo keeps teasing me...he's so rude…" 

Chihiro smiled. "You're not a printer, you're a complex machine."

"Yeah…" Taka seemed to be consoled by Chihiro's words. 

Mondo scowled, feeling a little jealous. "Hey, I just say it to tease you. I know you're not a printer, you're a person. That looks like a printer." 

Taka sniffled. "Not a printer…"

"Mmhm." Mondo smiled. 

"Thanks, for calling me a person." Taka said in a soft voice. 

Chihiro grinned. "Such complex emotions, any emotions coming from an AI like this...this is incredible." 

Mondo shrugged. "I think maybe you should back off on the technical talk for now, he's kinda… Sensitive when it comes to whether he's a person or not. Which he is!" 

Chihiro nodded. "Right. Sorry Taka."

Take sighed. "'S okay, I understand your excitement." He hummed. "I think I'm going to leave you be, for now. You both need sleep, after all. Mondo, if you want you can text me a bit." 

Mondo smiled. "Sure. You should get some sleep too, don't worry about me. I've pulled all nighters before."

"That's very bad for you, Mondo. And...I don't sleep. I've always wondered what it was like, to dream and sleep...ohh, if you have any dreams you should tell me about them!" Taka chuckled. "They're always so funny and strange, when people tell me their dreams." 

Mondo snorted. "Okay baby, g'night." 

"G-goodnight!!" Taka yelped, then Chihiro's laptop shut down. Chihiro gasped and screeched. 

"Nononononono! He better have fucking saved my work!!" Chihiro began shaking his laptop in tiny rage. 

Mondo grinned. "That's so cute, he got all flustered. I'm sure he'll get you a recovered memory." 

Chihiro glared up at him, looking ready to commit murder. "He damn well better!" 

Mondo smirked and laid on his bed to text Taka. -Chi wants to fuckin' murder you now, you shut off his laptop.-

-Ahhh I'm so sorry! I'll email a recovered memory! I was just caught off guard due to your use of a petname!-

-You liked me calling you baby huh ;P-

-I.- There was a pause as Mondo allowed Taka to finish his thought.

-Perhaps. Any petname is welcome, darling.-

Aw, that was cute. He called Mondo darling. It was so old fashioned and yet Mondo could imagine him saying it. "Chi, he has really advanced VR shit. I got to use it and we hung out, he's super cute in VR, squishy lil cheeks and he's actually ripped, I could feel muscles through his shirt. He's got a nice ass too, and soft hair and his eyes glow and it's neat and--"

"Mondo, you're my best friend, have been since coming here. But shut the hell up while I'm working." Chihiro glared at him. Oof. When he got mad like that, he really meant business. He heard him sigh in relief. "Ugh, thank your lil boyfriend for the email, I almost had a freaking heart attack for a minute." 

Mondo smiled. -Chi says thanks for the email.- 

-Ah! He's welcome! It was my fault in the first place…- 

-Technically it was mine :P-

-Ugh, just go to bed you nut! You have classes tomorrow!-

Mondo chuckled and began getting for bed, feeling exhausted but excited and this...new development in his life.


	3. Black and White (DID AU)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> If I haven't properly represented DID, I apologize in advance. I tried to research a lil bit but I am not an expert. Also there are so many of my hcs about Mondo, Ishida and Taka in this so I'm sorry if it gets wtf???? at times.

Sometimes, Taka just...went off the radar. As in, he didn't text, call, and he was nowhere to be found in Hope's Peak. Not the sauna, the library, any of his normal haunts. And if he was in his dorm, he didn't answer the door. It always made Mondo worry. 

Until one night of Kiyotaka Silence, when he managed to find the shorter man wandering through the halls. It was a weird thing to see, since Mondo was kinda used to these nights (they happened at least once or twice a week) and they were now in their third year of school here. But, curiosity got the better of Mondo and he found himself walking towards the hall monitor. 

As he got closer, in the darker hallway he could see that Taka's hair was stark white rather than coal black. "You dye your hair, kyoudai? Weird color, but it's cool you're lettin' loose for once…" Mondo said in an attempt to start a conversation. 

Taka turned around, and...there was a weird look in his eyes. Wild, almost to the point of madness. And the grin he gave was a lot more mischievous than the innocent beam he usually gave. "'S not a dye job, kyoudai! Just happens sometimes, it's a weird condition or whatever." He bit his lip. "I'm so happy you're out and we ran into each other though!" 

Then, out of nowhere, Taka hugged him tightly. "You good, kyoudai?"

"Mhm. I've just...I've always wanted to do this." Taka gave a happy hum. He seemed...off. Very off. His voice was different, his mannerisms were different. It was like...he was talking to a different person. He looked like Taka, but…

"Dude, are you okay? You seem off." Mondo frowned. 

Taka pulled back, eyes wide in...fear? "Yeah? I'm sorry, I just feel...sick?" He winced.

Mondo shrugged. "Want me to walk you to the nurse's office?"

"Uh, won't be necessary!" He looked hurt and afraid. "I'll just go back to my room and rest, this was...this was a bad idea." Taka mumbled the last part and began walking past him back to the dorms.

"Wait, you always do this, just disappear for a night. What're you doin'?" Mondo gently grabbed Taka's sleeve. 

Taka stiffened. "I...I relax. In my room."

Mondo shrugged. "Doin' what? Why can't I join you?" 

Taka sniffled. "Because you can't. Cuz I'm not allowed to let other people see me."

Mondo frowned. "Whattaya mean?"

Taka wiped at his eyes. "'S not my fault I wanna exist...but he acts like I'm a disease or somethin'. And I guess I am, but...he only lets me front if we're alone, and I'm not allowed to leave the room." 

Mondo scowled. "Taka, stop talkin' nonsense. Who are you talking about?" 

Taka sobbed and looked at him. "I just wanted to have some freedom, y'know? Even if he won't let me. And then...I had to hug you. I've always wanted to. He talks about you all the time." He smiled a bit. 

Mondo growled. "Taka, tell me what the fuck you're goin' on about!"

Taka's eyes welled up with tears and he sobbed. "I'm not Taka! I'm sorry I lied to you, I just, I didn't want to get in trouble!" 

Mondo shook his head. "What?" 

Taka, or not Taka, sighed. "C'mon, I'll explain in our room." He grabbed Mondo's hand and he couldn't help but follow. 

"If you ain't Taka then who are you?" Mondo frowned as he shut Taka's door. 

The albino blushed. "Oh, uh. I used to not have a name, but...when we came here I decided I wanted to be Kiyondo Ishida, cuz you’re so cool and stuff! And…" He sighed. "Taka didn't tell you, but...he's a system. It's just me and him, though, nothing too complicated." 

Mondo blinked. "What?"

Kiyondo rolled his eyes. "Jesus fuck, he said you were a lil dense but this is an understatement. We have dissociative identity disorder, alright? I'm an alter, he's the host. His brain basically split and dissociated when he was a lil kid, he watched our mom die cuz our family couldn't afford her medicine because of what the fuck happened with that ass munch of a grandfather we got, so to deal with that bullshit his brain made me." 

Mondo's jaw dropped. "You...you swore." He went wide-eyed. "You're so different from Taka...how…"

Kiyondo sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "That's cuz alters are usually formed for a specific reason. Taka became obsessed with working to make things right with his family. But he's human, so...it's like he's all work and I'm all play." 

Mondo frowned. "But you don't leave the dorm." 

Kiyondo nodded. "It's part of the deal we have, I don't wanna jeopardize his dream, it's my dream too. I want our family to be happy again, so...I have to hide. If anybody found out about Taka's...problem then I'd totally fuck us over." Kiyondo sat on his bed and then laid back with a groan. "But he can't just pretend I'm not here. Cuz I am. So we made a deal that once a week I get to front, but I stay in here cuz it's fuckin' impossible for me to pretend to be Taka as you saw earlier."

Mondo sat next to him. "So...what do you do?" 

Kiyondo shrugged. "Turn on the radio and sing along to songs and dance, go on social media on the shitty old laptop we got, watch pirated shit online." 

Mondo laid back with him and hummed. "What're you into?" 

"Soap operas." 

Mondo raised his brows. "Yeah? Not like I watch any cuz they're fuckin' dumb, but...which ones?" 

Kiyondo smirked a bit. "You like soap operas?"

Mondo sighed and nodded. "Yeah...and the Food Network." 

Kiyondo grinned. "No fucking way, same! I used to cook a lot at home, since Taka can't cook for shit and somebody needed to make sure dad had dinner when he got home so I really fucking miss cooking." He sighed. "Old man doesn't even know I exist and I still worry if he's eating okay." 

Mondo shrugged. "You wanna make dinner with me? I got some groceries to make shit. And...maybe I could take you out for karaoke?" 

Kiyondo looked at him with wide eyes. "Really? What if I'm recognized?" 

Mondo shrugged. "Nobody is gonna recognize you if you lose the uniform and have that hair. And it ain't like Taka's reputation'll be fucked over if you have some fun. It's karaoke, not booze and drugs." 

Kiyondo grinned wide, still looking wild. "That would be fucking amazing! I have some clothes, Taka lemme get 'em at a thrift store one time!" He sat up and went to his closet, already unbuttoning his shirt. 

Mondo smiled. "Did Taka tell you we kissed last night in the sauna?" 

Kiyondo looked over with wide eyes. "Yeah?" He mumbled. "I mean-- no, he didn't."

Mondo shrugged. "So like...if you wanna make this a date…I mean, if that’s cool with both you guys. Is it...is it cheating?" 

Kiyondo grinned and nodded. "Yeah, I mean--it's not cheating, no!" He laughed. "I honestly had a huge crush on you even before Taka admitted he liked you! I mean, we don't share emotions or anything like that but you're just so cool and you're all buff 'n sexy and cute and...shit…" He sniffled a bit. "I thought I was gonna get in trouble tonight for leaving the dorm but...now I'm so happy you like us, both of us…and I doubt Taka will mind if this means you accept him despite his disorder, y’know?" 

Mondo smiled a bit. "Yeah, you seem cool so far. Getting to know Taka's been pretty great, so getting to know the other guy in his head should be fun too." 

Kiyondo sobbed happily and pulled off the uniform jacket and button up shirt. "I'm so happy you're saying I'm a person too, that I'm not just Taka or somethin'..." 

"Yeah, I mean, I can tell you're not Taka. Very easy." Mondo snorted. 

Kiyondo pouted and chucked his jacket at Mondo. "Fucking rude ass motherfucker!" He hissed.

Mondo snickered. "It's not an insult! My jacket now…" 

Kiyondo gave him the finger and then grabbed some clothes from Taka's closet. He pulled on...holy fucking shit...it was a crop top. Kiyondo had gotten a fucking crop top. 

"Uh…" Mondo mumbled, trying hard not to stare. Very hard.

Kiyondo smirked. "Like whatcha see? Nerd's always hiding his assets under that stupid-ass uniform." He chuckled and unbuckled his belt, dropping his pants. "God, his lil briefs look so fuckin' stupid, I keep asking him to get a pair of black boxer briefs or somethin' more cooler and he keeps saying no."

Mondo stared at the floor. "How do you guys talk?"

"In our head, I guess? It doesn't happen a lot, Taka doesn't dissociate that often, but usually when he does to talk to me it's all business." Kiyondo hummed and pulled on...skinny jeans. Red skinny jeans. 

Mondo looked at him with wide eyes. "Huh. Aren't you worried your outfit is gonna make you look...y'know…" 

"Gay?" 

Mondo mumbled. "You said it, not me…" 

Kiyondo snorted. "I mean, I kinda just am into whoever. I know Taka's prolly like, ace or demi or whatever but he seems to be only into dating dudes. Mostly you. Just you." He shrugged and went to the dresser, grabbing Taka's wallet. "Are we goin' Dutch?" 

"Nah, I can cover you." Mondo smiled. "Just don't tell Taka or I'll never hear the end of him not liking people taking pity or whatever." 

Kiyondo shrugged. "Hey, I'm not tellin' if you don't. I'm fine with getting treated. Hell, I'll be a sugar baby if I gotta." 

Mondo rolled his eyes. "C'mon you nut." He grabbed Kiyondo's hand and tugged him along. 

Mondo hummed the last song Kiyondo had been singing at karaoke as he chopped vegetables for dinner. 

"You like that song?" Kiyondo smiled a bit from where he was cooking the beef on the skillet. 

Mondo shrugged. "It was okay. I'm not super into Vocaloid but it was catchy enough." He scraped the veggies off the cutting board to cook with the beef. 

"What music do you like?" 

"Metal. And some American stuff. Just MCR though." 

"MCR?" Kiyondo frowned. "What's that?" 

Mondo smiled wide at him. "You don't know who My Chemical Romance is?" 

Kiyondo shook his head. "I don't."

"Not for long." Mondo grinned and took out his phone to play their music on. "Surprised Taka didn't mention about how when I found out they were getting back together I jumped on my dorm room bed for two hours singing along to “Teenagers” over and over." 

Kiyondo frowned. "Oh, he mentioned that but not the band. Just that you shrieked, ran out of the lounge and then locked the door of your dorm for two hours without answering your phone." He hummed and nodded along to the music. "'S good so far, even if I don't know the lyrics."

"You don't know any English?" 

Kiyondo shook his head. "Languages other than our first one aren't things I can share with Taka, knowledge wise. I know some stuff really well, but there's some things I either don't get or I can't just get it from him." 

Mondo nodded. "Huh. Interesting." 

"Yeah, weird brain shit. Our therapist could prolly explain better." 

Mondo got out the rice to wash it. “Didn’t even know Taka had a therapist…”

“We went to one once in a while before coming here, but now we just talk to the Ultimate Therapist that goes here. She’s shy, but very sweet.” He smiled. “She gave me a birthday present, my own birthday. I mean, it wasn’t technically my birthday, it was just a day I picked out cuz I don’t remember the date of when I first started fronting, but she got a present just for me.”

Mondo hummed. “That’s really nice of her, what was it?”

“Boxing gloves! And they’re my pair, cuz Taka already has his own pair so ain’t allowed to touch ‘em!” Kiyondo grinned fiercely.

“Didn’t know either of you knew fighting…” Mondo mumbled. He had plenty of experience brawling as a gang leader, why hadn’t Taka offered to spar?

Kiyondo nodded. “Yep! He knows kendoka, we both know kickboxing, and I’m good at jiu jitsu!” He looked down. “Had to learn how to defend ourselves from the bullies…” 

Mondo raised a brow. “Wow, we should spar sometime…” 

“Wanna do it now?!” Kiyondo yelled excitedly.

Mondo chuckled. “Dude, we’re still makin’ dinner.”

“Oh yeah…” Kiyondo frowned and lost some of his overflowing energy. “After?” His eyes lit up.

“Yeah, we can do it after.” 

In the locker room, Mondo cracked his knuckles and neck in preparation for his sparring match. “Alright, I’m gonna try to go easy on you cuz I don’t wanna hurt you.”

Kiyondo grinned and nodded as he adjusted the strap on his fingerless exercise gloves. “Thanks kyoudai! It’s gonna be so fuckin’ cool, fighting a real gang leader. I mean, you got way more real-world experience!” He bit his lip and got into a fighting stance. 

Mondo smirked and decided to attack without warning to get an upperhand, going for a quick jab at Kiyondo’s shoulder. What caught him completely off guard was that Kiyondo dodged it with impressive speed, then grabbed Mondo’s arm and then before he knew it he was flipped over onto the floor, making a weak groaning noise in the back of his throat that did not sound manly at all. 

“Hey, don’t go so easy on me, kyoudai! You’re really underestimating me by just handing it to me like that.” Kiyondo scowled down at him. 

Mondo would have rather licked the nasty, sweat-soaked locker room floor than admit he hadn’t given Kiyondo that one at all. Instead, he rolled over and slowly got to his feet. “Sorry kyoudai…” He mumbled, rubbing his back and wincing. 

Kiyondo went wide-eyed. “Did I hurt you?”

“Nah, I’m okay…” He tried to do another surprise attack, this time instead of going for an easy spot like the shoulder he went straight for Kiyondo’s gut. But once again he was made to feel like Boo Boo the fool as Kiyondo dodged, grabbing his wrist and then landing a hit on his lower back, making him lose his footing and fall on his stomach with an incredibly undignified “whump.” 

“Kyoudai, c’mon! I said not to go easy on me!” Kiyondo pouted. “No wonder that nerd won’t spar with you, you’re not giving much of a challenge.” 

Mondo grunted. “How can someone smaller than me be so strong without even looking that strong...what the fuck…” He mumbled.

Kiyondo blinked. “Wait...were you not going easy on me that time?”

Mondo didn’t answer. “I think you fucked up my back…” He mumbled, closing his eyes as his fucking spine throbbed. 

“Shit, I’m sorry, I targeted a pressure point I think. Lemme help you up.” Kiyondo grabbed his arm and easily pulled him up, despite Mondo not helping him much at all. “I guess now I really know why he won’t spar with you, shit…” 

“Shut the hell up…” Mondo grumbled and managed to get to his feet, groaning and holding his lower back. 

“Wish I could spar with Sakura, I bet she’d be cool to fight against…” 

“Kiyondo…” Mondo couldn’t help but wince at how much that sounded like a whine. 

“‘M sorry! Here, I’ll take you back to your room!” Kiyondo took his arm and began gently leading him back. 

Mondo sighed and let Kiyondo help him. “Please don’t tell anybody about this…” He really didn’t want everyone to hear he got his ass handed to him in a fight like that, even if it was by his best friend. 

Kiyondo nodded. “Of course, not a soul kyoudai.” Once they got to his room, Kiyondo opened the door and quickly laid Mondo on his bed. “Lie on your side, I’ll...I’ll get Taka to help you, he’ll know what to do better than me.” 

Mondo groaned. “Wontcha get in trouble then?”

Kiyondo shook his head, his eyes misting up a bit. “Don’t worry about me, I deserve it after hurting you like this…” Before Mondo could protest he left the room, shutting the door a little more loudly than necessary.

After a few minutes of throbbing back pain, Taka walked into the room with an ice pack. “That idiot, I told him I’d never spar with you…” He grumbled and put the ice pack against Mondo’s back.

Mondo gave a near orgasmic moan in relief. “It was my fault, I egged him on...he’s not gonna get in trouble for hanging out with me is he? I...like him. As much as I like you, actually.” Mondo looked over at him, worried. 

“Don’t move, you’ll make it worse. And I honestly saw this coming, he was going to get antsy enough to break our deal...it was a matter of when, not if. But I’m relieved he managed to hold back this long, and I’m glad he ran into you instead of someone we don’t trust as much.” Taka smiled a bit. “And I’m relieved you don’t think I’m a freak or that I’m dangerous for this.”

Mondo shook his head. “Nah, now I know you guys are dangerous for different reasons…” He grumbled. 

Taka chuckled. “Serves you right, I warned him what would happen, but he was so trusting in your abilities. ‘He’s a gang leader, he could probably beat us’ and ‘he’s tougher than anybody by a long shot.’” Taka snorted. “Because apparently your cool punk persona trumps our nine years of trained martial arts experience.” 

“Nine years?! What the fuck, why didn’t he say that?” 

Taka sighed. “He gets over excited and impulsive a lot. That’s why I made sure he wouldn’t find out my debit card pin number, so he doesn’t make any impulse purchases.” He bit his lip. “Lay on your stomach, I want to see if I can fix this. If I even have a little doubt, I’ll get a professional, but…” 

Mondo rolled onto his stomach. “I trust you, ‘sides I don’t wanna have to deal with this.” 

“If I don’t do it right I could make it worse.” 

Mondo sighed and gripped the pillow. “Just do it.” 

Taka sighed and pulled up his tank top, his fingers brushing over his spine and making him shiver despite the pain. Then, the heel of his hand pressed into something and-

“SON OF A MOTHERFUCKER!” Mondo yelled at the intense pop and spike of pain, and then… “Holy shit.” He sat up. “You fixed it.”

Taka grinned. “Phew, you scared me for a minute there.” He sighed. “Hopefully I did that correctly.” He took the ice pack. 

Mondo grabbed his hand. “Hey, you wanna...you wanna hang out?”

Taka blushed. “Mondo, it’s bedtime, and… sleeping with another student in their dorm is seriously unwelcome in a school environment!” 

Mondo rolled his eyes. “Just cuddle me for a lil, c’mon.” He tried to pull Taka to him. 

Taka groaned. “Kyoudai…” 

“Shh, cuddle.” Mondo hugged him close, kissing his head. “Speaking of which...would dating Kiyondo technically be cheating?”

Taka hummed. “He didn’t tell you? We talked about it a bit, before even coming to Hope’s Peak. Since we’re both the same age and get along well enough, if someone were to come into our lives that we both happened to be interested in we decided it would be okay to share. As long as we spend an equal amount of time with that person.” Taka smiled. “So no, it isn’t cheating. Did you two go out?” He scowled. “You didn’t do anything illegal or foolish did you?”

Mondo frowned. “Hey, why you gotta jump to conclusions like that! It was just karaoke!”

Taka sighed in relief. “Good. He’s always wanted to do that sort of thing, it’s just...I was afraid of what would happen if we did, and we never really had the money to just do things like that.”

“That sucks.” 

Taka scowled up at him. “You paid for him didn’t you?”

“Wh-!” Mondo went wide-eyed.

“You did, I don’t have any cash and Kiyondo can’t even use my debit card, so that’s the only explanation!” 

Mondo blushed. “Yeah, so what if I did! We’re dating, why can’t I treat you guys?” 

Taka rolled his eyes and grumbled something about Kiyondo being a freeloader. “Fine…”

Mondo sighed. "So...just wondering, cuz Kiyondo explained a little but...how did this happen? I mean, he said you watched your mom die? But like...is that really enough to cause your brain to split like that?" 

He felt Taka stiffen against him. "It wasn't just that. After my grandfather's scandal, I was completely isolated from everyone. No one in my school talked to me, and if they did it was just to bully me and beat me up. And when Kiyondo said watch her die, he literally meant I saw her take her last breaths, Mondo. And they weren't peaceful ones. She died in pain, suffering. And my father is great, but...my mother was the person I leaned on for emotional support. Having all of that happen, when I was so young...it just, I guess my brain just, made that other person in my head to cope. I was so lonely that my mind made someone for me to depend on, lean on when I couldn't handle reality anymore. And that was Kiyondo. He's impulsive, and crazy, but...he was the only thing I had in my life other than my father." He scrubbed his face. 

Mondo nuzzled him. "That's awful, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have asked like that."

"It's okay, I understand. It's not something that's common, so a lot of people don't really understand it. I'm just glad you're not calling me a psycho or something. If this became a public thing...it could ruin my chances of becoming prime minister." 

"Yeah, I get it." Mondo pulled Taka closer. The smaller boy didn't respond for a while, his breathing becoming even and his body mostly unmoving. Mondo had been sure the moral compass had been asleep until Taka had sat up, no hesitation, and then got off the bed.

"Well, off to bed." 

Mondo frowned. "Thought you were asleep." 

"Hm?" Taka blinked. "Oh...I'm fine." He gave a slightly strained smile and nodded. "Just...don't bring up my mother again, please? Just not around me. If you want to ask Kiyondo about her, you can but I…" He shook his head.

Mondo swallowed hard. "I'm sorry." He reached out and took Taka's hand. "I get what losing someone like that is like."

Taka nodded. "Thank you kyoudai. I'll see you tomorrow morning." He quick kissed his cheek and then quickly marched out of the room.


End file.
